Curse

A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road.
A woman is driving down the same road.
As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!!"

The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BITCHHHHHHHH!!!"

They each continue on their way, and ..... as the man rounds the next
corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road ..... and dies immediately.

If only men would listen.

Simple Thruths of Life by Linda Ellis

There is an unspoken balance
time has clearly explained
between what I've lost over the years
and all that I have gained...
 
Every trait that I surrender
as I slowly "lose" my youth
is replaced with a life's lesson;
traded for...
a Simple Truth.
 
I am the product of my years;
they have created what is me.
And every day that I have lived
has made me who I want to be.
 
Each person I have known or loved
is a part of who I am today.
Each left me something in my life;
each helped me find my way.
 
I've heard it said, "If I knew then
everything that I know now..."
But we are taught at the proven pace
that time...and life...will both allow.
 
These truths I've learned
from things I've done
and places that I have been...
what I'd give to take them back with me
and live my life again.

Life Begin When You Do by Mary Anne Radmacher

Nearly everyone postpones one grand thing or a collection of mighty hopes and dreams.

Between the quote marks of our lives are phrases like these: "When things slow down...when I finish my degree...when I get certified...as I acquire a deeper knowledge base...when I have kids...when the kids are grown...when I get well...when I marry...when I divorce...when I retire...when I get that promotion, that raise, that job, that house, that whatever the fill-in-the blank is for your specific postponing of life..."

Your Life Begins When You Do.

You may think you are postponing the longing of your soul until life aligns itself with your vision, until elements conspire to be more favorable...but as it happens, life just lolls along at the same remarkable consistent and disinterested cadence. Life is impartial. YOUR personal, subjective life (dreams, satisfactions, contentment, achievements, vision, fullness, passion, aspirations) begins when you begin.

From my teens into adulthood, I said, "I want to be an artist." One day I changed the sentence to, "I am an artist." My view changed. Life began. I looked behind me and saw that I had been accidentally living as an artist. I had been laying down a path that was only now visible to eyes that had begun to see. Beginning my life as an artist made my heart's longing and the small, tentative labors of my hands—visible and tangible. I began by opening the door and simply believing that I could live my dream. I began living that dream by seeing that I could.

Your purpose, that thing that among the many to-dos of your days, is what you must do. Embrace the truth of your purpose each minute of your precious life...for how very true it is that life begins when you do.

If you would dream it
BEGIN it.

If you have an idea
OPEN it.

If there is longing
ACKNOWLEDGE it.

If there is mission
COMMIT it.

If there is daring
DO it.

If there is love
SPEAK it.

If there is resource
USE it.

If there is abundance
SHARE it.

Heaven's Gate

40 gypsies arrived at heaven's gates.

St. Peter said "we've only got room for 12, so decide amongst yourselves who's coming in".

Five minutes later St. Peter says to God. "They've gone".

God says, "What, all 40!?"

St. Peter says, "No... the fricking gates!"Lmao

Devil's Detail

One day a guy dies and winds up in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil…

Satan: Why so glum?

Guy: Why do you think? I’m in hell!

Satan: Hell’s not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?

Guy: Sure, I love to drink.

Satan: Well you’re gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, beer, soft drinks, you name it! We drink till we throw up, and then we drink some more. And you don’t have to worry about hangovers because you’re dead anyway.

Guy: Gee, that sounds great!

Satan: You a smoker?

Guy: You better believe it!

Satan: All right! You’re gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer—no biggie, you’re already dead, remember?

Guy: Wow… that’s awesome!

Satan: I bet you like to gamble.

Guy: Why, yes. As a matter of fact, I do.

Satan: Cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, and Kino. If you go bankrupt, you’re dead anyway. What about drugs?

Guy: Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don’t mean…

Satan: That’s right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack…or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, you’re dead, who cares?!?!?!

Guy: WOW! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!

Satan: You gay?

Guy: No…

Satan: Ooooh…You’re gonna HATE Fridays…

Xanadu

May will go in few days, leave a good memory. 

A festival, yes it was. Jakarta Fashion & Food Festival 2013.

A decade of cultural based event with global taste. 

Here's a snapshot from Wine & Cheese Expo, Xanadu Cabernet Souvignon.

" Full-bodied yet refined, the plush palate offers a core of inky berry fruits; boysenberry, blackcurrants and Satsuma plums all well framed by subtle cedar/ spicy oak character "

Keep the Duck

A big city lawyer went duck hunting. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked the lawyer what he was doing.
The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and your not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer replied. "I'm one of the best trial lawyers around, and if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything that you own.
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in these parts. We settle small disagreements like this, with the Three Kick Rule."
The lawyer asked, "What is the Three Kick Rule?"
The farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth until someone gives up."
The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly gets down from the tractor and walked up to the city fella. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin, which dropped him to his knees.
His second kick nearly ripped the nose off his face.
The lawyer was flat on his belly, when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly causing him to give up, but didn't.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, now it's my turn."
The old farmer smiled and said,
"Naw, I give up, You can keep the duck!"